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Something slippery that poked my ass, turned out to be a finger, greased with cream.

The results will be seen as an embarrassment for Britain's banks, which pride themselves on being some of the best in the world and are more used to competing with Wall Street than the Continent. No sooner have passengers boarded a vessel than they start paying over the odds for extra food and drinks, wi-fi and shore excursions.

Even basic itineraries can cost thousands of pounds while a luxury trip might set you back five figures.

Das erste Date fällt der Befragung zufolge übrigens unspektakulär aus: nur 20 Prozent sind an Körperkontakt interessiert, und nur 1 Prozent an Sex.